


Repent.

by jaymeat



Category: supermega
Genre: Age Difference, Cults, Heavy Angst, Kinks, M/M, Matt is 18, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, Will add more tags as story continues, probably slow burn, ryan is 29, vague depictions of animal cruelty, well i should say matt is turning 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29124414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaymeat/pseuds/jaymeat
Summary: Ryan Elias Magee, better known as Lord Elias was the 4th disciple of god, his parents being the 2nd and 3rd. He was born into the cult and was the only son of Cecile and Eliott Magee, leaving him the responsibility of taking over the position of a reverend, or, Elder. His mom and dad predicted he would be the most ruthless and terrifying disciple. Leadership was passed over to him when he turned 16, as per tradition. His first order was to have his parents executed, and his second order was for a glass of wine. Elder Ryan was sure to be the cruelest disciple, and the whole village knew it.
Relationships: Ryan Magee/Matt Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, a religious trauma fic I kind of drabble when I'm bored. Heads up this is probably not going in a pretty direction, if you choose to read past this point and still leave hate comments, that's on you. If you don't like the content displayed in this fic, I beg you, ignore it and move on. This will not have many pleasant moments, and Ryan is a total dick in this fic. Matts absolutely enraptured by him though, so there'll probably be a lot of gaslighting and brainwashing. ANYWAYS! If you still plan on reading, proceed with caution. You've had numerous warnings beforehand :)!

The Magee Family Cult was founded sometime in the late 1970s, by Ruth and Alphaeus Magee, better known as the first and 2nd disciples of God himself. They formed the cult by personally visiting all the poor and troubled folks in their small town and promising heaps of food and prosperity in exchange for their undevoted commitment and worship, the people of the town considered them to be true disciples of god for this. As the cult got bigger and harder to manage within their small bustling city, they migrated from their small town to a private village far into the country, completely isolated from anything outside of its bounds. This is where the cult would stay for decades.

...

Ryan Elias Magee, better known as Lord Elias was the 4th disciple of god, his parents being the 2nd and 3rd. He was born into the cult and was the only son of Cecile and Eliott Magee, leaving him the responsibility of taking over the position of a reverend, or, Elder.  
He didn’t hate it all that much, he’d just always thought the position to be dull and boring compared to the boys his ages’ lives. If he could choose, he'd rather be a normal village boy instead of a disciple. His whole life consisted of brutal studying and training, and nothing else. He was always under his parents’ thumbs, being strictly disciplined. It very quickly turned him into a cold, bitter person. Rebellious as well, constantly getting his ass whooped by someone for something he did. For anything from getting a bad score on his test to killing another one of the village's animals, he’d get lashings. He didn’t mind getting whipped if it meant he could skip out on another useless leadership class to go drown a cat or something, but he always thought getting beat for things like test results or being a few minutes late was totally unnecessary. He endured it though, having not cried once in 16 years. His mom and dad predicted he would be the most ruthless, and terrifying disciple because of this fact.

Leadership was passed over to him when he turned 16, as per tradition. His very first order was to have his parents executed, and his second order was for a glass of wine. Elder Ryan was sure to be the cruelest disciple, and the whole village knew it.

-

Matt was one of the village boys, ruled under Elder Ryan, succumbing to his every command. Though he didn’t command much, only basic things for the wellbeing of the village, like getting an education and doing a certain number of hours out in the yard. Matt was officially turning 18 the next week, but he didn’t think it was such a big deal. The only thing being of age meant was more yard work and not having to attend those stupid (..honestly kind of creepy) meetings anymore. He didn’t even understand the full gist of those meetings, it was more of a girl thing.  
From what he understood, every year there would be a coming of age celebration for both teenagers and adults. Once a year they’d celebrate all the new 13 and 18-year-olds to welcome them to a new era of their life, but there was something else they did. At the start of the celebration, all the boys and girls were lined up youngest to oldest, and the disciple would choose a mate/life partner if he or she didn’t already have one. All teens were required to wear ceremonial robes as their lord inspected them however he or she pleased. They’d do this every year until someone was chosen as a partner. They didn't have a choice, and it was forbidden to deny a disciple’s command. So every year matt would dress up in those stupid robes, and show up to those stupid meetings. He would always try and look his best, though he knew he didn’t have to. Girls would get all dolled up and pretty looking, hoping to be chosen as one of god's disciples, it was just tradition. Boys were different though. Boys wouldn’t have to try to look pretty or even bother showering, because they all knew a disciple would never choose a boy to marry. Some boys would even blow it off or skip the meetings, but matt wouldn’t dare do that to one of God’s true prophets, he wasn’t stupid. Even if he wanted to, his parents would string him up sideways. He didn’t like the meetings, but at the very least he complied for his lord. But this one particular gathering had him more nervous than ever. He looked in the mirror and groaned, why was he so worried about this meeting? It's not like a true disciple would ever pick a boy, and even if Elder Ryan did, why would it be him?  
He looked like shit, he couldn’t quite get the front of his hair to stick down today and his eyebags were dark as ever, why did these dumbass meetings have to be so early in the morning? His robes were tight on him because his genius parents didn't get him some he could grow into, instead, giving him robes he could just barely fit into at 13. Now he was 17 trying to make sure his dick wasn’t visible through the thin cloth, tightly wrapped around his lanky awkward body. Fucking humiliating. A small part of him hoped to god Elder Ryan didn't show up again this year.

He’d skipped out on the past 5 meetings, meaning matt only saw him once in his life. He could barely remember what he looked like. From what his parents tell him, and from his fading memory, he recalls a young tall-ish handsome man with long black hair and stubble. Matt always thought it was kind of weird, the way Elder Ryan stayed holed up in the disciples’ house all day. It was atop a hill in the distance, so even if he were to ever leave his house no one from the village would see him. And that’s not all that gave matt a weird feeling, Elder Ryan was also rumored to have slaughtered innocent pets and other villager’s livestock as a teenager for the fun of it. And all of his superiors called him “the cruel prophet” or “a test from God”. That intrigued Matt, the boy was eager to know more about him, to find out if he really did all of that stuff, or why he would. He wanted to see why all the old people called him cruel and terrible even though Matt has never seen him do anything bad. He wanted to see him again no matter what. Perhaps that’s why he actually tried to look good for his last gathering, what good that did him, he looked like all the other boys, like he'd hopped out of bed, slapped on some robes, and called it a day.  
He was snapped out of his thoughts by his mom loudly announcing it was time to start heading to the center of the village, it startled him so much he tripped over his own shoelaces trying to run out of his door, earning a brutal laugh from his sister. Their mom bit back a smile and simply said, “Sam, don’t laugh at your brother.”

This day fucking sucks.

-

They arrived at the center of the village where he was greeted by the tucker brothers. They looked scruffy and boyish, as usual. They didn’t even try to look good, causing matt to give a slight frown as he walked up to them.  
“What’s wrong matt?” Carson, the youngest, asked with genuine concern. Matt didn’t answer, that question was way too complicated for him right now. Jackson cackled at his silence, obviously getting the wrong idea. “Worried Elder Ryan won’t choose you hm?” Jackson smiled, jabbing at his side. “Wuh- NO! Shut up my parents might hear you!” He whispered defensively.  
“I’m *worried* because this stupid fucking robe doesn’t fit me and my hair is all fucked up, actually, jackass.” the angry teen retorted.  
“Aww don’t worry matt, you look all dolled up as usual” Harrison cooed at him, causing the 3 to burst out laughing, Matt just gave him the finger. Once their laughter died down, Jackson looked over at Matt's family and smiled.  
“You all look the same every year. You, your mom, and your sister get all pretty and your dad, in an attempt to save his masculinity, throws on some robes and doesn’t even bother shaving his face.” Jackson cackled, causing Matt's dad to look over and make Jackson dart his eyes away and cover his face. Matt gave him a blank stare, why was he smiling about that?  
“And you always come more dolled up than your sister and mom. I just couldn’t help but notice your dad always has the same look on his face. Displeasure, or maybe fear, I think he's scared there's a chance the elder could choose you or your sister.” Jackson rambled, frowning and observing Matt's family. Matt just huffed and smiled softly, Jackson always pointed out the things no one wanted him to. “Well, he can stop being scared soon. After this month I'll be old enough to ditch these meetings, and I think the elder is a no-show again this time around.” he tried saying stoically, but he could hardly hide his disappointment, he felt like he’d never get to observe his lord. What was the point in following someone so passionately if you don't even know what they look like? Harrison put his arm on Matt's waist and pulled him in in an attempt to distract him, “Come on, if we stand around here we’ll be last in line for food." he bent down to matts level and put his face next to his, "I will literally kill you, then myself if I miss out on lamb again this year.” he said, pointing at the food stand, sounding scarily serious.  
Matt chuckled and started walking with the 3 of them, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering up to the top of the hill, to the disciples' house. 

-

So the night went on, they partied and ate food as usual, with their lord nowhere to be found. Whatever. Matt tried not to focus on it while he listened to the band, or while his family and the tuckers ate candied apples together, even as he and all the teenagers were being lined up he tried not to think about his immeasurable disappointment. He physically felt the faith in him dying, a sinkhole developing in his stomach and his chest getting tight. Why was he here? Why was he following someone who allegedly kills cats and doesn’t care enough about his followers to visit them once a year? Why didn’t he have a choice? He’d do anything to know more about his lord, but the problem is, there's nothing he can do. And with that, he gives up.  
All the teenagers are lined up, only a few more minutes before the superiors let the defeated girls and snotty boys get out of line and go back to partying, for nothing. Jackson stood next to him, Matt noticed him staring up at him but decided not to look. Every year, they’d be dismissed and Jackson would laugh and poke at him for being disappointed, but not this time. “Look, Matt.. i-” he started, only to be cut off by one of the guards yelling.  
“ELDER RYAN APPROACHES! ALL TOWNSFOLK, KNEEL!!!” the guard shouted, just as surprised as everyone else. This was followed by scared, and excited murmurs. He heard the boy to his right murmur, “oh shit..” and only then did it hit him. Jackson hit his shoulder and he kneeled as fast as he could, barely being able to breathe. This couldn’t be happening, why wasn’t anyone happy? Why did all the adults and seniors look scared, like they were kneeling for their lives? He looked to his left, Jackson.. Even he looked scared, he was sweating, staring at the ground, and biting his lip nervously. Matt gulped, so this is the power of a disciple? He heard footsteps, the whole village was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, he only heard one set of footsteps. Even in the wet grass, the footsteps were booming to him. He could hear his own heart beating, he wanted this, why was he so overcome with fear? He silently apologized to god for ever doubting him or his elder, he regretted letting his faith and devotion falter.  
Suddenly a stern, deep voice rang through his ears, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Stand.”


	2. What's your name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt finally meets his beloved elder, but not in the way he wanted.

Matt peered up, all the other teenagers were on their feet. He quickly jumped up and put his hands behind his back, he kept his eyes straight ahead. He couldn’t will himself to look at the elder, this was happening too fast.   
There was silence, painful silence. He assumed Elder Ryan was observing girls already, but he couldn’t hear any footsteps. He shut his eyes, waiting, bracing himself for the moment his elder came down to his side of the line. He hoped to God he chose a partner before that moment could come. Suddenly he heard more steps and shifting all around him. He heard Jackson gasp quietly, but he still refused to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see what was going on.

But Jackson silently tugged on his sleeve. Matt let out a breath and looked down at him, Jackson creased his eyebrows and gestured over to the elder, he had an urgent and shocked look on his face, he didn’t need to talk. Matt knew his expression read as, “look over there, now.”

Matt gulped and looked over, instantly feeling his legs turn to jelly. The elder was looking directly at him, eyeing him like a hawk. He jolted and quickly averted his eyes, but he could still feel those eyes boring into him intently. He had to remind himself to breathe as he felt his lungs getting empty.  
He only looked for a second, but the elder looked exactly how he had pictured him. Only more scruffy, and somehow, more handsome. His hair was jet black, along with his eyes.   
He heard those same, deafening footsteps. His eyes were shut, yet he still felt not only the piercing eyes of Ryan but all the eyes at the festival looking at him. All the teenagers, all the parents, they were all looking at Matt. Matt with his fucked up hair and too-tight robes, his awkward posture, and trembling legs. They were all watching him as Elder Ryan inched closer, passing up the other girls and boys like they were nothing but dust, not even sparing a glance in their direction. Matt squeezed his eyes shut and winced as he felt his presence drawing closer, what was the elder’s business with him of all people? There’s no way in hell he was considering Matt as a partner, was he just looking to embarrass him? Before Matt knew it the footsteps stopped, right in front of him. Matt was trembling, he couldn’t look his elder in the eyes, so instead, he was staring down at his shoes. Black shiny dress shoes stopped right in front of Matt, who was wearing dirty and creased hand-me-down sneakers. He frowned at the sight, not fully taking in or willing to accept what he was looking at.

“Look at me.” The familiar voice said, coldly. Matt felt a hand grasp his chin and his breath hitched, Elder Ryan forced Matt’s head up so they met eyes. Matt’s eyes widened seeing him up close, from this close he could see the elder had lots of stubble, making him look older and painfully attractive. His eyes were pretty, he had long eyelashes and eyebags that made his eyes just a little droopy, and his irises were the darkest Matt had ever seen. He got lost in them, he couldn’t look away, like his elder’s stare was enveloping him. The disciple took notice of Matt’s awestruck expression and chuckled. The elder gave him a warm smile, eyes creasing along with it. Matt became starry-eyed, his elder was so alluring, it all flooded back to him, his faith, all at once. All the doubts he had only minutes ago, disappeared. He knew looking into his elder’s eyes why he followed him so passionately. Ryan let go of his chin and simply said 

“Turn around.” 

Hearing the deep voice that rattled Matt’s insides and made him panic, Matt complied quickly and turned around, unsure of what to do. Suddenly Matt felt a large hand on his lower back, he jolted and yelped. Another hand gripped a handful of his hair, he suppressed a noise of surprise and squeezed his eyes shut. The hand on his lower back would push firmly, so his back would arch. He heard a gasp from an adult behind him, which made him wince. It reminded him everyone was still watching, he squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He felt his elder’s body press up against him, pushing his back in further, gripping the handful of his hair harder. He felt his face and ears get hot, and let out a strained whine, which is when his elder hummed contently, and finally, let him go. The disciple grabbed Matt’s hips and turned him back around, not letting go once Matt was facing him. Matt looked at his elder and noticed a sinister grin painted on his face, and a thumb pointed behind his back. Matt looked in the direction he was pointing and his eyes widened, his knees feeling weak again. He met eyes with his dad, his whole family. His dad looked at him horrified, angry, disgusted. His mom looked sick, and his sister looked confused and shrugged her head when they made eye contact, as if she was saying “nothing we can do now.” He looked away from his family and back up at Elder Ryan, only then realizing the reality of the situation. The hands on his hips, the way his robe felt tighter, the wet grass under his feet, and the deafening silence in the field.   
“What’s your name?” the deep voice said, making Matt jump. Right on queue, a cold chill ran through the air. As if Elder Ryan’s words and actions had some kind of subtle effect on the atmosphere.  
“It’s M...Matt, Matthew Watson” he replied, not able to hide the trembling in his voice. The older man hummed, satisfied, and without thinking twice, said:  
“Well, Matthew. How would you like to become a disciple of God, take my hand in marriage, and rule with me in this life, and the next?” 

The elder extended his hand out to Matt. He was smiling but this time it wasn’t warm or welcoming, it made Matt uneasy, it was grim. Matt looked at Elder Ryan and then back at his family, his dad was gone. He looked over at Jackson who was smiling at him smugly, as usual. He looked at Harrison standing next to his mom who made a funny face at him once they made eye contact, then down the line at Carson who shrugged at him clueless as ever. Matt smiled softly, those dumb assholes would always be the same, even when a fucking disciple was asking for his hand in marriage. He peered up at his elder nervously, not sure if there was a formal way to accept this offer, since he didn’t really have the option to refuse it. He took his hand and looked away sheepishly, before nodding gently. A gust of cold wind blew through the village, his elder nodded towards someone and suddenly a musical number was being played. A song that hadn’t been heard in decades, announcing a disciples marriage. Some people cheered, going back to partying and dancing, some people immediately turned to the person next to them and started gossiping, some people ran to their distraught and confused daughters, some of the people familiar with him even chanted Matt’s name, but Matt’s own family was nowhere to be found. He let out a deep breath and smiled up at his Elder, or, husband, wanting to forget the ugly sight of the empty spot in the field, where his family once was. The older man smiled down at him and swept him off his feet, laughing at the way Matt squealed before he caught him in his arms. The elder lifted Matt closer to his face, and said: “have you ever kissed anyone before?”. Matt looked away and said, “no.. I haven-”  
Before he could respond fully, or even think about what his elder said, he felt soft lips on his. It was warm, it felt nice. He kissed back, the best he knew how. The elder pulled away and Matt almost missed the contact.

“Now you have.”

Matt heard more cheering and winced again. Everyone was still watching him and his elder.  
The older man put him down and began to walk off, not a word spoken announcing his departure, or what Matt was supposed to do after that. Matt ran and grabbed his elder’s arm, distraught. The disciple paused and looked behind him, his demeanor completely changed. “Why are you just fucking staring at me?” he spat. Matt flinched, “Wh..What do I do now?”. There were tears in his eyes, maybe his new husband cursing at him on top of his family disowning him was the last straw. Elder Ryan jerked his arm out of Matt’s grip and said “I’ll be at your house in the morning to pick you up. I expect you to pack all your shit, assuming your family hasn’t kicked you out.”. With that, he walked off with his guards into the distance. Matt turned around and wiped his eyes, sprinting towards the tucker brothers to explain what just happened.

-

“Maybe you just sucked that bad at kissing,” Harrison said plainly after Matt explained.  
“Jesus dude don’t fucking say that!” Matt said putting his face in his hands and letting out a distraught noise. Carson and Jackson punched Harrison in the shoulders in unison.   
“You know that’s not true Matt…” Carson said warmly. Jackson snorted and said   
“Yeah, wanna try it out on me? You guys were basically eating each other’s faces in the middle of the fie-” he stopped when he noted Matt’s pained expression.   
“Sorry dude, bad timing,” he said, calmer.

-

After a long night of talking to excited strangers, following the tuckers around, trying not to cry, and eating candied apples, he was finally making the trip home. He looked for his family all around the field, he looked at every stand and porta-potty, but they’d left a long time ago. His brain felt like mush and his lips still tingled from earlier.  
His robes were chafing him, his hair was still sticking up, and his legs were still trembling. What just happened? Was that all just a dream, or did a disciple of God really just propose to him, and kiss him? He arrived at his house and with a trembling hand, grabbed his doorknob. It was locked. He knocked, but he wasn’t really expecting to get in tonight. Instead, his mom answered, with a large box and a guitar at her feet. Matt looked up at her, not wanting to believe it.   
“Here's all your stuff, I’m sorry Matthew. I’m so so sorry, your dad doesn’t want you in here. I’ll talk to him, I'll get him to understand, just give me a few days.” she said, she was trying to keep her cool but she’d clearly been crying. Whether that was because of Matt or his dad, he didn’t know.  
“Mom…I don't understand,” Matt said clenching his fists and grinding his teeth, was his dad ever this fucking backwards? Why did this have to happen, when all we wanted after today to sleep in his own fucking bed? He heard his mom choke back a sob, she gently pushed the box outside and handed Matt his guitar, then closed the door. 

And locked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi what the fuck I am so sorry this chapter took so long. I just started writing it yesterday so my apologies if it was too short or boring :( only the 2nd chap and already we get to witness ryans bipolar disorder and homophobia? What a treat. Next chapter will be out sooner, and will be better! Bear with me, things get a little more serious next time around, this is where things start getting a little shitty. Until next time my friends :0)

**Author's Note:**

> what did u think :) I'll update every week or so, or try my hardest to. This isn't my first fic, but its the first one I've ever posted, so excuse any mistakes I may have made. By the way, don't be afraid to comment. I just have them moderated incase antis and or idiots come by to doxx me or something.


End file.
